"The comments section on this question about "tattoo regret" make for interesting reading," writes Alex Balk at The Awl. He adds, "What does my tattoo say about me as a person? It says that I was in my teens during the nineties. And that is my tattoo story. I hope you enjoyed it. Perhaps you have one of your own."
- The Awl, "Your Tattoo and You"http://www.theawl.com/2010/02/your-tattoo-and-you
Indeed, I do. This is my tattoo story:
Tammy
Posts
We'd been hanging out all night at Van Hoose's drinking beer and doing whiskey shots while some middle-aged country band played half-assed covers. Her name was Tammy. Including us and the band, might have been eight people in the place. This was 1993 or so. I had been kicked out of college earlier in the fall and gone back to Kentucky for work, mostly because I didn't want to hang around Annapolis going to college parties and explaining why I'd been kicked out of school. I found a job as a reporter at a local weekly newspaper called The Bourbon Times. I really liked telling my friends back at school I was a reporter for The Bourbon Times. I thought it sounded cool. Everyone has had bourbon. And everyone has had times. Put them together and that's where I worked. Anyway, so we're hanging out at Van Hoose's getting drunk and before long there's nothing left to do but head across the street to my apartment above the carpet store. I pretended to be interested in putting together some drinks. Tammy pretended to be interested in my books. "Damn, you sure do like to read," she said. Then we pretended to be interested in each other. "How long you lived in Paris?" I asked. "Twenty-four years," she said. "No, twenty-five," she quickly corrected herself. "I forgot. I turned twenty-five in June."
Tammy was way better than me in bed, more experienced, more confident. After I'd made a few clumsy efforts to control things she took over and just told me what to do. It was a relief. She directed me to take her from behind. That was when I realized she had a tattoo above her ass in a purplish script that read, simply, Henry, with a little swirl just below the name. Thank you, Van Hoose's, I thought. My first threesome. Here we are; just me, Tammy and Henry… doggystyle. Henry. Henry. Tammy was getting more energetic, more vocal. Maybe it's because she's not constantly being confronted by
Henry, I thought, who for me was beginning to take on a more dominating presence; faceless, yet real, maybe even more real than me. After all, I didn't have any tattoos. Tammy had Henry. Henry. Henry. Henry. Henry. Goddamn, I thought, I'm really giving it to Henry. Henry. Henry. Tammy was talking dirty now. A lot of "Oh yeah's" and "Harders." Soon, I was talking too. "That's right, gimme that Henry." I knew, even as it was happening, as I was saying this thing, that it was wrong, that it would have repercussions, negative ones, but I couldn't stop. "Gimme that Henry, baby," I said, louder. "Gimme that Henry. Work that Hen- "
She was furious, but said nothing as she got dressed. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't – "
"Asshole," she said evenly, looking at the floor, with far less violence in her voice than the way she had been throwing her clothes on. She left without looking at me once or saying another word.
Seventeen years later and I still don't have any tattoos. I'm not opposed to them, I've just never felt strongly enough about anything to want to get it permanently inked on my body. When I think about Tammy, I realize that's probably the saddest thing in the world that anyone could say about themselves; that they've never felt anything deep enough to want to possess it forever, even in some small, insignificant way. And if I was really a man, I'd go out tonight and get a tattoo on my arm or chest or somewhere that read, simply, Tammy, with a littler swirl just below the name.
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Note: Joel Johnson imagined what this little story might be like as a piece on This American Life. (RT @joeljohnson What happens when you read The Awl comments like it's a TAL episode: http://www.sendspace.com/file/rvkgzb (Apologies, Kentucky-accented.)). Alternatively, you can download it here via Box.net.