Sarah Palin Solves Her "Jewish Problem"

"If American Jews have a problem with Palin, [Commentary contributor Jennifer] Rubin is right that problem 1 is that they – we – doubt her intellectual capacity for the job. But that’s only the start of the list of problems."
- FrumForum, David Frum, "Do Jews Hate Palin?"

Sarah Palin speech before synagogue, New York City, January 8, 2011, partial text:

“Rabbi Horowitz, Rabbi Blaustein, esteemed synagogue, ahh, delegates?... And my fellow citizens here in this magnificent shul, this house of prayer, which is kinda like a church only more... you know, ethnic... but not in a swarthy way… in Alaska we have the Chabad Lubavitch synagogue in Anchorage, been there many times for Shanna Tovah and whatnot, so I am truly honored to be here and honored to be considered a candidate for the nomination for President of the United States! Shabbat Slalom!

Oy, where to begin! How about with this: I accept the challenge of a tough fight in this election… against confident, dare I say… meshugganah opponents … and, I might add, at such a crucial hour for the fatherland.

It wasn't so long ago when all the "experts" in Washington and New York counted me out of the running because of my so-called “Jewish problem.” With their usual certitude, they told us that all was lost – that there was no hope for this candidate who said that she would rather lose an election than see her country lose a war.

Well, let me ask you this: does the yarmulke I’m wearing make me look like I have a “Jewish problem”? Join me in a tip of the kippot to the naysayers. Anyone? Tip of the kippah? No? I’ll just do a quick one for all of us.

You know, from the inside, no family ever seems typical, and that's how it is with us. Our family has the same ups and downs as Jewish families, the same challenges and the same joys. For example, you use what is called a "Menorah," a rudimentary fake candle-like decoration with plastic blue lights, to celebrate the high holy days of Channukkah, or as we prefer to call it, Christmas. We may be divided on some issues, but on the Santa issue, I am proud to say we are united! And I pledge to you that if we're elected, you will have a friend and advocate in the White House to help you keep your holy Santa days.

I've had the privilege of living most of my life in a small town where I was just your average hockey mom. There were not a lot of Jews, but my husband Todd is circumcised. Living in a small town, I know just the kind of people who grow our food and run our factories and fight our wars. They love their country in good times and bad. They may live in the Real America, but make no mistake: they have a need for a good dentist from time to time, an accountant at least once a year, and, occasionally, even a Hollywood agent. You know what they say, the difference between a hockey mom and a Hollywood agent: a Bat Mitzvah. Heh. I don't even know what that means.

And so, to the pundits, I say, look who’s kvetching now! I guess I am... thanks to my agent... on my Fox News television show, Sarah Palin is Kvetching.

Together, I’m proud to say that we are kicking their tukas…es. So let me say thank you all for your gelt and support, and may God bless America… and no one else!”